Dream

Dream

Having a dream can be a really unique thing, but it can also destroy a person. In this case, it destroyed me. I had a dream about my ex apologizing to me and begging me to get back together because she realized she was in the wrong. It really sucks cause she’s my neighbor and I sometimes find myself looking outside my window to check up on her. I have to fix my unhealthy obsession with her and accept that it is time to move on. I started to eat actual meals again! I am glad I have a really nice support group that consists of my close friends and family members. Overcoming a breakup is probably going to be one of the hardest thing in an individuals’ life. I will say that it is getting better day by day. I have been able to focus on my career and school work, been starting to workout again, and am on a path to get my dream car MCLAREN 720S LOL. I know I can do things if I really put my mind to it. My parents and peers believe in me, so I should start believing in myself again as well instead of always looking for instant gratification. I told my friend how I was feeling lately about pretending to be happy and putting up an act to show that I was okay when I really wasn’t. He replied saying this and it honestly made me happy that there are people that care for me given that my self esteem isn’t the best.

Planning for the day

I can’t wait to be productive again today and slowly start back up on things that I enjoy doing. I am going to go workout with a friend today which has been boosting my morale and helping me through some hard times. After working out, I plan to go study and probably go for a walk to clear my mind from some things. Then I will complete my homework due next month and study up on some certifications. I really haven’t been able to indulge in my study time due to the immense stress I have been going through, but as I said before, taking it day by day is really important to keep in mind. I’m sure a lot of people have it worse than me and my heart goes out to them. I understand the struggles and pain that someone can go through. I will say that I have been through so much. It makes you a better person and more resilient in the long run. If you’re going through a rough patch, hang in there (speaking to myself too!!). I will continue to move forward slowly regaining my self worth and hopefully find someone to love me unconditionally. I need to remember to love myself first as always.

Impulse

Fighting my urges to do things that I know will end up hurting me in the end. I have to keep myself accountable for the things I know I should and shouldn’t do. One thing I am proud about is my ability to not fold when being peer-pressured or just my morals in general. I hope people with low self esteem or going through hard times can find the will to regain their strength by reading my forums. Always remember to tell yourself that YOU are worth living. If no one else loves you, you need to be able to love YOURSELF.

Remember to love yourself!